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[quote=Anonymous]OP, sending you huge hugs. I have never had anorexia but I have had body issues all of my life; I've always been thin but felt fatter than I am, and recently I've actually gained some weight after my first that I'd never ever had, and had JUST worked my ass off to drop it and look good again when I got pregnant with my second. So, I just want to say that i get the angst, but obviously, it's such a tiny slice of what you must be going through. I too feel nauseated, and while with my first I just gave myself permission to eat every donut that had the misfortune of crossing my path, this time I'm determined to be healthier. Key word is healthier.

Anyway, if it helps, what helped me get through my first was reminding myself: If I put it on, I CAN take it off. and I CAN do it in a healthy way. Focus on empowering, "I can do this" thoughts.

Also, I am also really struggling with nausea but another mom on these boards suggested (and my midwife okay'd) unisom and vitamin b6. I take a half tab of unisom every night and 25 mg of vitamin b6 morning and night. The difference the next day is nothing short of miraculous. It's not like I'm 100 percent, but I have a taste for at least twice as many types of foods, so I don't have to confine myself to carbs, salt, and crap which is what I can usually tolerate while in the throes of first trimester nausea. It also helps with the fatigue, so I feel like I can take a brisk walk, which in turn DOES help with the nausea and fatigue further.

I want to echo what everyone else has said. Come clean with your OB. His / her reaction should be mild. If it is not, find a new OB. Ask on a listserv, or here, for a supportive care-giver. Find someone who will help you stay on top of the issue. Counseling sounds like a must, so you have someone with experience you can discuss. And get a nutritionist. If you're having feelings that you need to "control" what you eat, maybe just knowing that what you do eat is the absolute healthiest and best you can eat will help you achieve some control in a healthy way. (Be careful not to take it too far).

Good luck. Please do talk to someone. Nobody, I mean NOBODY, in their right mind is going to judge you.

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