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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If OP tells her DH that FIL is not welcome in their house unless he does XYZ, DH may say, "well, I don't want to see  your parents here."  It sucks but that's the way a lot of DHs are.
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If I told my partner that his dad was not welcome in our house because his dad was disrespecting me, and his response was "well, I don't want to see your parents here" in a purely retaliatory way, rather than something related to disrespectful behavior toward him, I would be shocked that I'd married a vindictive child instead of the mature adult I thought I was getting.[/quote]

Not the PP.  One thing you have to understand is that this is your DH's father - the man who raised him.  Lobbing ultimatums at DH is NOT going to solve the problem and will create more problems.  Being vindicitve is one thing....but no one wants to have their spouse ban their parents from their house. Because at the end of the day, the DW who bans the FIL is NOT going to bear the brunt of the decision - the DH is.  So...you need to understand that and act accordingly - with understanding and humility - and acknowledge that the decision is a difficult one for him.  HE is the one making the sacrifice so the DW puffing her chest out like a boss is NOT the best long term move.  [/quote]

I'm the poster you're quoting but not the OP. Are you honestly saying that if my FIL was disrespectful and sexist to me in my own house and my husband does not kick him out HIMSELF that I should be understanding and respectful of the sacrifice he's making??[/quote]

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