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[quote=Anonymous]I've been married for 16 years.  Slowly and surely, my MIL has pushed the boundaries and made everything all about her and her feelings.

I now keep her out of the loop and just do not involve myself with her, period.  We kind of have a don't ask don't tell relationship; she doesn't ask me anything about my life and I don't tell her a damn thing.  It's miserable and tough to keep this up, but years of this drama has hardened my shell. It's either this way or no relationship at all.

OP...this is where you are headed if you don't suck it up and remove yourself from the focus of this wedding.  Be grateful your son has found someone to love and welcome this new family member in a genuine and loving way.  Just think...you might be a grandma someday and you'll want to have a nice relationship with your DIL.  Believe me, Mama Bear is the gatekeeper when it comes to access to the grandparents.  My MIL would love to be with my kids more but she's so difficult that I end up limiting the time my kids have with her.  [/quote]

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