Reply to Advice on telling teenage stepdaughter that a new baby is on the way?

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Reply to "Advice on telling teenage stepdaughter that a new baby is on the way?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh goodness, you're very kind, but I'm not particularly wonderful.  Just trying to put myself in this sweet kid's shoes.

Hey, 15:35 (and any others who have been in the same boat), a follow-up question:  Did it make it easier, harder, or no difference that the new baby was the same gender as you (I'm assuming you're female, apologies if not!)?  I've often wondered if it might be easier on my stepdaughter if the baby was a boy.  But maybe I'm off base.[/quote]

1535 again.  Hard to say.  I didn't feel affected by the same gender thing.  Mostly that I didn't feel that "loved" by my stepdad.  It doesn't sound like your stepdaughter will feel that wway b/c you are being so thoughtful.  I imagine different genders might help the feelings of competition but to be honest I think a big age difference helps more.  celebrate her and her accomplishments the way you will the milestones of the baby.  And to the extent there's time, try to spend a little special time with her--go get a pedicure, shop for something etc-something the baby cannot do.  Tell her explicitly, "I want to be sure you know, no matter who else is in my life, you are special to me and I love you and our relationship etc."  This is what a bio parent having another kid would say also...When she's great with the baby, let her know "I'm so glad little ___ has you for a big sister.  He/she is very lucky."   Go on family vacations together if you can.  [/quote]

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