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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm an underemployed woman with a toddler in full time childcare.  Just to play devil's advocate-it would be really hard to job search/network effectively while caring for two children full time.  In my case, I've been able to pick up enough side work to cover daycare and insurance for me and child.  If that work dries up, I'm not quite sure what we'll do-likely some combination of dropping down to part time daycare and picking up some temp work, even if low paid.  I don't see how he can get his business off the ground while taking care of the kids full time, but it sounds like his timeline to turn a profit on that business is too long to be sustainable for your family.

Could you do something like meet with a financial advisor to map out a five year plan?  It might help to have a neutral observer tell him that his plan isn't workable for the financial survival of your family.  Being unemployed is so demoralizing and it can be very hard to hear your partner say stuff that sounds unsupportive-even if it's true.[/quote]

I am in the same position as this PP and your DH.  I've been out of work for 18 months (I left my old job when we moved here for DH's new job.  Haven't been able to find a new job).  It is very, very tough out there, especially when you have to make a minimum amount just to cover daycare costs, after taxes.  I have found part-time work to do from home and have a 4 year old DS in daycare and have 3 month old DD home with me.  It is very hard to get more than 2 hours of work done during the day, between feeding her and interacting with her.  It is also very hard to schedule telephone conferences because those are always turn into the days her nap schedule is messed up or she is sick, etc.  They both sleep from about 9 p.m. to 7 a.m., but DD is up 2-3 times to nurse during the night, so I am exhausted at night and want to sleep, not work.

Every week I contemplate pulling DS out of daycare and just staying home, but then we can't pay my student loans.  Plus, as long as DS is in daycare, he has a slot for when I do find work and DD will have a sibling spot that he is "saving" for her.  If I pull him out, we are screwed for childcare for both of them if/when I get a job.  And, I don't want to pull him out because if I do think it's important that he is in a preschool program.  I looked for mid-year part-time pre-school openings in January and February, but couldn't find any.  Plus, if he's home, I won't get any part-time work done and then we can't afford a part-time pre-school.

It's easy for people who have jobs to say "just get a job," but it's not that easy.  And I understand why your husband is afraid of a long gap on his resume.  That is hurting me, too.

So, I guess I don't have an answer.  Just that it's harder than people think.  If DH's business is a good business idea, could you put the kids in part-time daycare while he gets it off the ground?  Then he would have dedicated time to work each week, some during the weekday, and some weeknights and weekends when you are home?  That sounds exhausting for both of you, though.[/quote]

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