Reply to Husband donating sperm to lesbian couple/sister in law

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here
They are aware of the va problems but live several hours from a boarder state with better laws.  Racing across the border would be more difficult for them.  I know the laws concern them, but not sure a move is realistic for career reasons.  Due to the current judge in their county, they are hopeful they would be able to have a successful second parent adoption.

My husband would be a sperm donor.  He would be an uncle.  Our kids would be cousins.  If they broke up then they would do whatever two people do in a break up do when parenting children, donor originated or not.  however, it would not be our say - we expect to have zero custody.  However if something happened to them we would be happy to care for their children, the way we hope they would care for ours in a like situation.  We do not expect nor want parenting say-so.

Our motivations for doing this include:
1. Allowing dh's sister to have a bio connection to the child
[b]2. Eliminating the where did i come from curiosity that older children of anonymous donors may have and the mixed feelings about having dozens of bio half siblings
3. Providing them with sperm that comes from a donor with their desired traits/characteristics [/b]

Thanks for sharing - any more thoughts would be appreciated,
[/quote]

Reasons #2 and #3 seem like reasons given by someone who doesn't know how modern-day sperm cryo banks work.  For one example, the donor could be anonymous until the child turns 18 (Anyone seen "The Kids Are Alright?") and more information is given about donors than most people know about themselves.   Also, there are thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of donors available with all types of traits/characteristics. So do it, or don't do it, but don't do it for reasons 2 and 3.[/quote]

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