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[quote=Anonymous]I come at this from two angles: Nearly 20 years ago, I suffered from severe depression and I attempted suicide.  I am well now, have been for many years, though I still take meds to stay well.

My brother is mentally ill and has personality disorders and psychotic episodes.  I think he may be undiagnosed schizophrenic.  He was committed to the psych ward for the first time about 10 days ago and is still there.  He has refused all help for about 13 years, since he started showing signs of illness.

OP, I know you hurt for your brother and absolutely, you should do everything you can to help him, as much as he will let you.  However, I can also tell you from having been there myself, that when someone is determined to kill themselves, there is nothing you can do.  I hid my illness and withdrew from others because I was determined to die.

From my brother's experience, I've also learned the sad fact that our mental health laws make it extremely difficult to force a family member to get help if they don't want it.  The bar is ridiculously high and you can literally watch a family member deteriorate before your eyes and if they aren't deemed a danger to themselves or others, then you are out of luck.  That's a tragedy in itself.  My brother was committed, and we're convinced that was a miracle.  The psychologist who examined him, for all of 15 minutes, was recommending he be let go, despite the fact that he nearly assaulted my mom two days before.  He didn't think the near-assault rose to the level of "danger to others."   The attorney at the hearing, representing my parents petition for commitment, told them that our case was the FIRST time, in all her years, that she had seen the judge overrule the recommendation of the psychologist-evaluator.  Yikes.

I say all this because I sense a huge tone of guilt in your voice.  You can't allow yourself to take on a load of guilt for a brother who won't accept help and a system that won't help him.  You have to come to peace somehow that your efforts are enough and if tragedy happens, you did what you could do at the time.  Otherwise you will be forever haunted.  Don't let that happen.  You have a life to live too.  Best of luck, and I hope he gets help.[/quote]

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