Reply to Middle Schooler obsessed with appearance and quite thin

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[quote=Anonymous]I was this kid, and I am now dealing with my own incipient perfectionist.  Your DD sounds very anxious.  The focus on appearance and weight go way beyond normal middle school behavior and need to be addressed by a professional.  Many girls focus on these things to attain a sense of control.  Also, do you notice that the activities she is involved in, especially violin and ballet, require "perfection" and likely feed into her anxiety about not being perfect?  As for school, many perfectionists stop trying out of fear of failure; this may be why she is rushing through her schoolwork.

Please take her to a psychologist and get her some help.  It does not indicate some sort of failure on your part.  Some kids are just wired to be anxious and perfectionistic.  I blamed many of my issues on my upbringing, spent six years in therapy dealing with them, and try very hard to parent my DDs differently than I was raised, yet I still see many behavioral red flags in one of my daughters.[/quote]

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