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[quote=Anonymous]Everyone in my family looks to me as some bad-ass, take no crap kind of woman. I was *convinced* that my husband wouldn't cheat. I was even more convinced that I'd leave him if he did. I was confident in those beliefs....Until he cheated.

The discovery of the affair was pretty drawn out. I initially thought it was an inappropriate friendship with a coworker (found hours and hours of late night phone calls, dozens of texts, a voicemail telling her he loved her, etc) and would argue with my DH when I discovered he was still in phone/texting contact. Made him leave the house on the few occasions I discovered the continued contact.

I then went to thinking it was an emotional affair. After getting his promise to cut off contact outside of work, I discovered he still reached out to her. Made him leave.

But in the back of my mind, I didn't take this as serious as I probably should have because I was still labeling this as an inappropriate friendship.

Well, after the last instance of him leaving and with him still being out of the house (about 3 weeks), he called me wanting to talk. During the talk, he confessed everything and admitted to the almost year-long affair. Despite all the (now obvious) proof of a physical affair, the confession floored (and gutted) me. We remained separated for another 2-3 weeks and I cut off all contact with him.

I guess with his admission of the whole truth, reality sank him for him and he became obsessed with a reconciliation. Would call me alot (I didn't answer) and would come buy the house. I still am ashamed that the main reason I let him in when he came over was because I didn't want him to turn to her instead. I didn't want her to "win".

My bad-ass self is PISSED at how quickly I caved once he became remorseful. We only stayed separated about 2-3 weeks after his confession.

I treated him pretty abominably during the first couple of months of our reconciliation. He was very candid about everything that happened and while I sometimes wished I didn't know all the details, he gave them to me (as far as I know).

It was a HARD, LONG road and many times I wanted to just get off and say "eff it", but my love for him (and really my desire to "win"), kept me with him. I will say that it took me about a year before I stopped thinking about it every day. I'm now 5+ years out from the affair and I rarely think about it these days and when I do, I don't feel pain just more of a dulled sense of outrage.[/quote]

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