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[quote=Anonymous]When this happened to me, I found that I needed a LOT of validation afterward that things were either "not like at XYZ" or that they WERE like that and I was seeing things correctly. I did not want to telegraph neediness to my new company so I tried to get better at validating myself rather than needing external validation. Like, telling myself directly, "It's totally understandable that your first thought would be that someone is undermining you since that happened all the time at XYZ" rather than bugging my husband or friends with those sorts of things.

I also tried really hard to remember that the people at New Company just think I'm awesome. They don't know about any of the difficulties from XYZ other than the surface-level bulletpoints I've mentioned. I try to do my best to be the version of me that they know rather than the version of me that had to leave XYZ.

And to be perfectly clear, it wasn't the manager at XYZ that was the problem. He was great. The company itself was bad, but the dynamic is similar in that I really had internalized the insecurity and chaos and weirdness of it.[/quote]

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