Reply to Don’t know how Thanksgiving isn’t happening

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Last week DH and I hosted our adult sons, our DILs and four grandchildren at our beach house. We had a fantastic time. It couldn’t have gone better.

One evening after dinner, I brought up that I don’t want to host Thanksgiving this year, I’m just tired of it and I need a break. We rarely see our whole family at once, so I thought it was a good time to discuss. My sons and DILs said oh of course, that’s a lot of work, we’ll figure something out. This week, one of my sons texted to say that they’re going to his wife’s aunt’s house for Thanksgiving, and the other son told me they booked a vacation over Thanksgiving as they said they never vacation as their own family.

Of course I understand all of this, I’m just a bit surprised that neither of my sons nor their wives volunteered to host. My eldest DIL wanted to host a few years ago, but that was the year I was already set to host because there were already relatives visiting from California. Even a restaurant idea could have been part of “we’ll figure this out.” I get that DH and I don’t have a right to all of their time, but we rarely get Christmas with either son, and now we don’t get Thanksgiving either? I just feel very used, [b]like if I don’t “pay” with my labor, I don’t get to play with my grandkids[/b]. :([/quote]

You’re not automatically entitled to any holidays or a certain amount of time with your grandkids, so yes if you want to see more of them it behooves you to make it enjoyable for all involved. (Unfortunately, particularly given that you have sons.)

Given your son’s comment about finally taking a vacation for themselves it sounds like they may have already felt overburdened with expectations of family visits and welcomed an opening to pull back.
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