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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Team Judy.

OP, the tone of your post sounds like you probably didnt entertain differing opinions on care and proceeded with your choice, giving your SIL and brother little choice in the matter. Hence the resentment. I’ve seen this happen.

The world does not revolve around just the elderly parents. It isn’t fair to the next generations. You have to be reasonable in care choices. In this case, why wasn’t a nursing home considered?

Hypothetically if your brother had pulled back and didn’t visit, you’d be complaining and saying his wife was keeping him from his family, right? You put them in an impossible situation.

[/quote]

This was not a unilateral decision and a nursing home was definitely considered.  My 3 brothers and I discussed the care options multiple times.  In June 2025 we 4 siblings decided on 24/7 professional caregivers at home.  We had 24 hour coverage.  Alex chose to go over as often as he did.  In March 2026 money was running out, mom & dad were harder to care for, and Alex being over there often was straining his marriage.  So we put them in the nursing home where Alex still visits mom frequently.

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Your SIL should have been part of the decision making because while her husband is doing all this work for you and your brothers, she paid the price at home by picking up his slack. What was in that for her? [/quote]

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