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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not to ask a stupid question but have you ever said to your mother, in those words, that you don’t feel like a priority and you need her help in this season of life with shouldering the travel burden?

If you have, and this is what has come of it, I’m so so sorry. If you haven’t maybe try that first. I think people make assumptions (which make their lives easier) like “oh Larla is too BUSY for us to visit or Larla LOVES the road trip every year” but if confronted directly will make a change.[/quote]

This is OP again. Not a stupid question - yes, I have on more than one occasio. There is a pretty predictable pattern... she will quickly say that I am trying to make her feel bad or that I am getting on her case. I will then cry, and she will yell at me for being "emotional" and then I will get really upset and get off the phone as quickly as possible. The next time we talk, she will act as if it didn't happen. Real healthy stuff.

This happened a few months ago right after Easter. This was the first year we did not spend spring break visiting them because we had to work. [/quote]

My mother used to play the "I was only joking, you're too sensitive" card anytime she made insulting comments. I went no contact for a while, and since she does, actually, want to see me and the kids, she dialed it way down. I cannot trust her, though, because any time she's under stress, her natural meanness can come right back.

OP, I just wouldn't put myself out for these people. I am in contact principally because of my father, who is not a bad sort, but completely under my mother's thumb. You could visit just once a year and be done with it. Or even less. Take a leaf out of their book and just do what's convenient for YOU.

[/quote]

^^^^ Here's the answer right here!  Do we have the same mother?[/quote]

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