Reply to Promotion isn't what husband expected, and it's affecting home life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband recently accepted a promotion. Long before he even interviewed for the position, he knew it would involve longer hours, more tedious work, and no guarantee that the rewards would come quickly. [b]Because I know him well, I gently raised those concerns before he accepted. I encouraged him to think carefully about whether he was attracted to the actual job or just the idea of a promotion and career advancement.[/b]

He was very clear that this was something he had always wanted professionally and that he understood exactly what he was signing up for.

Fast forward to now, and he's exhausted. The benefits he expected haven't materialized in the ways he had expected, the work is draining, and I suspect he's questioning whether he made the right decision. Unfortunately, because of the nature of the position, he can't simply walk away.

The problem is that his unhappiness comes home with him every day. I can tell he's miserable, and it affects the entire household. Part of me wants to say, "This is exactly what we talked about," but I know that wouldn't be productive or kind.

For those who have been in a similar situation, what can I do? How do you support a spouse who is struggling with a decision they knowingly made, while also dealing with the impact that decision is having on you and your family?
[/quote]

How long has it been? A lot of jobs, the first 12-18 months are rocky. There's so much to learn and absorb while also trying to do your job, and maybe even applying skills in a new way. It can take awhile to get to know everyone and get systems in place and sometimes things even out. I'm not sure if this is that type of job.

Vent outward, support inward. It sounds like you knew your husband well enough to have a sense this could be tough for him. What sort of support do you think would help him most? Are you in a position to give it?[/quote]

My question is why do that part gently? Usually a spouse does know the other best and one built in benefit is being able to say 'I have a sneaking suspicion you'll be miserable - and by extension we will be miserable.'  I have hated lots of jobs and don't 'bring it home', so if he's the type to share the pain, you should sound the audible warning. I can't imagine a downside. But I will say the downside to doing something gently is now being realized. I do agree with the PPs take to be sure to say you're supportive then and now, but you could've been more forthright. [/quote]

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