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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What are her specific grievances? I’m sure she’s expressed unhappiness about certain things over the years.[/quote]

Op here

To answer your question about specific grievances, it's actually hard to pin down because she hasn't really expressed being unhappy (other than that one comment about regretting kids). She was never a super hands on parent, but she definitely did more with my eldest when she was younger.

One thing that's always been tough is that she doesn't really show physical affection with the girls. But I know that stems from her own childhood environment, her family wasn't affectionate at all, so I understand where that comes from and I don't hold it against her.

The biggest issue now is how she actively avoids parenting duties. She consistently stays late at work or goes out with work friends specifically so she misses bedtimes and the eldests clubs. It definitely escalated after our youngest was born, but the avoidance was always there to some degree.

I want to be clear: I still love her deeply, and I really want to make this work. I'm not looking to walk away. I just don't know how to bridge this gap and get through to her before her distance seriously impacts our girls emotionally[/quote]

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