Reply to When other kids are unkind to your kid, how do you keep emotional distance from it?

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Reply to "When other kids are unkind to your kid, how do you keep emotional distance from it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I try to remind myself that I’m sure there have been times my kids haven’t behaved in a way I’d approve of and that they are experimenting with social structures and dealing with their own insecurities/trying to fit in. A lot of the times the behavior is an anomaly or something a kid outgrows.

However, as a mom of 3 there have been a handful of kids I’ve come across over the years who are just mean and somehow use their meanness toward others to elevate their own social status. Some of these kids have parents who are also a-holes but quite a few of them have very nice parents, so I’m not sure how or why some kids become this way. I tell my kids they can’t be proactively mean toward these kids, but they are allowed to roast them back and stick up for others. I expect my kids to be kind, but not doormats. And yes I internally hold a grudge (although as an adult I’d never be rude or mean to a child and if they somehow become nice in the future I’d mentally forgive them). [/quote]

I know for a fact that my kid “roasted” his friend for being fat over a year ago. The boys are still friends but the mother has never spoken to me again.
And thats ok. I talked to my son. He knows why he shouldn’t have said what he said. If the mom is still mad that’s just her being a mom and I understand. I feel the same way sometimes.[/quote]

I am this mom. A boy my son thought was one of his best friends called him fat multiple times, several of which I heard happen. I purposely stopped interacting with the family and told my son to find other friends. They still talk at school i guess but I was so annoyed at how rude this kid was about appearance. And my son isnt fat but he is taller and stronger than this other kid who I guess was perhaps insecure at his scrawnyness and thought telling my son his butt was huge was the way to deal with it.

What he and his mom didn't see was that my son was very upset and self conscious. He cried. He wouldn't eat dessert. He was really sad about it and this boy was so clueless and careless. I dont blame his mom but i also just dont want to engage.[/quote]

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