Reply to has anyone on here terminated due to a positive T21 result?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I have a sibling with special needs.  It's not downs.  But he will need to be taken care of for the rest of his life.  The financial models expect him to live to be 75.  He will outlive my parents and will even outlive ME.  (I am significantly older).

This is a terrible burden on my parents, who have had to scrimp and save and plan to ensure that there are funds to care for him.  It will be a burden on my siblings too.  Until you have lived it, you cannot even imagine the ways in which this responsibility has taken over their lives and, to be honest, destroyed their happiness, although they would never admit that out loud.

I personally would not have a child with serious special needs.  I had the tests with my last pregnancy because I was over 35.  I knew when I went for the tests that if there was anything significantly wrong, I would terminate.  I have seen first hand what life is like for the child, the parents, the marriage, and the family of a seriously SN child and I know it is not a life I would wish on anyone.

How "serious" downs is, and how serious it is in this case, I don't know.  But the best of luck to you with whatever you choose to do. [/quote]

Like this poster, my MIL has a sister with SN.  she is 45 and has the mental capacity of a 6 YO, and a number of psychiatric and health issues that come with it.  She is a sweet woman, a grown child, but her care and maintenance have caused such unbelievable strife and burden among my MIL and her other sisters since their parents passed away.  When I first got pregnant at 35 my MIL found a discrete way of telling me that much as she loves her sister, she would not blame me at all for terminating if I had a SN result.  Like others, I only offer this to help you think through your own situation, and perhaps to give you peace and comfort that you are not being selfish if you decide to terminate.  I wish you the best in your choice and you have to do what's right for you.  [/quote]

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