Reply to Am I Overreacting?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Am I Overreacting?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If he has no history of abusing you I think you are overreacting.   Men are wired to be a little violent.   Restraining you on one occasion if never repeated is really not such a big deal.   You can all scream as much as you like but from a male perspective, I think you need to cool it.[/quote]

You do yourself a disservice when you expect so little of yourself. That, and you're an asshole.[/quote]

NP. OP has told a one-sided story and has emphasized the physicality of the episode. But it seems like the husband was not being offensively aggressive but was insisting that they keep working on their disagreement. It was a bad approach and shouldn't have been done, but this was different from hitting a spouse, etc.  He isn't necessarily an abuser or remotely similar to wife beaters. [/quote]

He is exactly like an abuser.  He pushed her, shoved her down, and held her there while she was screaming.  He then interrogated her perceptions and refused to take her seriously unless she could exactly replicate the hold he was using, as if the specific position of his hands was the problem.  Any normal person would have been shocked into stopping by OP hitting him back and telling him to keep her hands off her, if indeed the first push was unintentional or unaware.  If that didn't stop a person, having someone you love screaming in fear because of something you are doing should have done the trick.  Finally, if you were too dense to understand what that reaction meant, the thing to do is apologize when someone tells you that you've hurt and scared them.   Her husband did none of these, and that is abusive.

I really hope your wives are reading this and thinking about whether they've heard these bullshit justifications come out of your mouths and what that means for their own marriages.

OP, take a hard look at this and be honest with yourself about your DH's behaviors.  They will escalate (they ARE escalating) and you need to take them seriously.  He is not going to calmly let you and your daughter walk away from this, so you need to be careful and prepare well in advance.  Start by clearing your browsing history each and every time you check the internet, because he is going to come straight to this thread.

http://www.helpingservices.org/Domestic_Sexual_Abuse/power-control-wheel-domestic-violence.shtml[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics