Reply to Looking for Advice on Building Empathy and Kindness in a Teen

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for the helpful comments. My daughter and I have a good relationship, and we’ve talked about my concerns. She doesn’t see herself as mean or superficial, but I can tell she’s reflecting on past behavior that may have come across as dismissive or lacking empathy rather than intentionally unkind.

[b]She’s said that some friends need more emotional engagement and validation than feels natural to her, though I still encourage her to consider others’ perspectives.[/b]

I also recognize that I’ve contributed to the issue by rarely saying no and giving her too much materially. While we’re comfortable, we’re not wealthy, and I think I overcompensate because I grew up with very little as the child of a single mother. My husband doesn’t share my concerns. -OP [/quote]

The bolded sounds like she coming up with increasingly sophisticated rationalizations for nastiness. It’s all wrapped up in a bow to be handed to adults, as opposed to “I don’t want to hang with Jane anymore” “Jill and I have nothing in common and she’s a jerk” etc. Your husband is also parenting her and you’ve noted that he thinks everything is great. You both created this.[/quote]

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