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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your husband works out of the house all day. You care for the baby all day. Both are full time jobs but I promise you that home with the baby is harder. You BOTH deserve down time. When my kids were tiny, we framed this as both of us needing a similar amount of time in our day where we weren’t needed by someone else (employer or baby). It’s hardest when the baby is new and unpredictable but your husband should share the baby and house care, as much as possible, when he is home.[/quote]

Amen! Say it louder!

I’m sorry you’re going through this, and you sound like a reasonable person who has looked at different angles here. Except that, your husband doesn’t have a memory problem. He probably wouldn’t be able to fulfill his demanding job if he really did. You are his partner not his project manager — and sadly too many men act like this towards their wives and treat it like she’s just better at those life skills.

If he won’t hear you out that this is not acceptable and is incredibly unfair to you, you can try communicating through it with a third party (ie, couples counseling) which will be pricey for sure. So maybe you want to try discussing with him 1:1 but I really hope you change your framing. You are not demanding or nagging or unreasonable — you deserve a partner, and he needs to take responsibility in caring for the child and home that he signed up for. It doesn’t mean it’ll be exactly “50/50” as that will shift from time to time depending on what life throws at you, but no coasting allowed — don’t put up with it. [/quote]

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