Reply to Obese Husband and No Sex

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[quote=Anonymous]Your husband can adopt healthier behaviors, but neither you not he can necessarily change his size.  Successful long term weight loss is nearly impossible, and dieting and re/gaining is much worse than staying big in terms of its negative impact in long-term health.

But if hat you care most about is his health, not just his appearance, he can get much healthier over time with more exercise and nutritious foods.

What I wonder, though, is whether there is something medical underlying all this...low testosterone, depression, thyroid, or all of the above. In diagnosed sleep apnea is also a huge cause of metabolic problems and eight gain, and when you are chronically sleep deprived, it's got a huge impact on energy and sex drive.  If he is sick, this is not an issue of respect, for you or for himself.

I highly suggest that you tell him that you need him to see a doctor, period.  It's not negotiable.  His behavior is indicative of a health problem that is hurting your family.  It's not about the fat itself; it's about why he is at and what the effects are in your family.  I have a feeling you could be happy with him at his current size and shape if he were full of energy, full of sex drive, exercised often, and ate well.  (Right?) If so, tell him that.  "It's not about your fat.  It's about you not participating fully in our marriage."[/quote]

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