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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I very much want to treat both kids fairly. I included the info about older kid being a stepson and my personal feelings about graduations, as they may inform my biases. But, at the end of the day, if it weren't logistically on the edge, of course we'd attend both.

I also agree the terminal degree is the most important, and the accomplishment should be celebrated hugely, but, yeah, I feel like as far as a ceremony goes, high school graduation really is a marker of the edge of childhood and a whole new stage of life. Grad school graduation (as in, someone handing me a diploma) didn't mean much at all. Just my opinion. [/quote]

I also recommend mom staying and managing the daughter's graduation and father attending the son's graduation and leaving right after to come home and make daughter's.

I think the first graduation matters the most because the honoree hasn't had one before and doesn't know how they will feel about it on the day or afterwards.  It's like a first wedding.  Much less certainty.

All of my 3 graduations ended up being kind of blah.  Bad weather, bad audio, mediocre speakers, losing a grad award to a rival, and realizing that I should have joined an otherwise pointless pay-to-play honor society if I wanted to get cords for summa cum laude.  By the third, I was done with the fantasy that I would be deeply touched by the ceremonies.  Mildly meaningful is the nicest I can be about them.  So I think romanticizing their impact is foolish.

It's clear that the greatest risk is that the high schooler might miss her own graduation.  That's unacceptable.

Maybe get everyone tickets to a neutral vacation spot for later in the summer.

Check for live web links to be offered for both graduations.  My older son's graduation had a live broadcast.  My sister and her kids watched from the next town over.  Tickets were limited.[/quote]

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