Reply to Is frugality in a high-earning woman a green flag or a red flag?

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Reply to "Is frugality in a high-earning woman a green flag or a red flag?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m talking about someone who is a lawyer and makes very good money, but:

* [b]never tips or donates[/b]
* almost never eats out, and if she does it’s always the cheapest place or the cheapest thing on the menu
* [b]avoids things like concerts, sporting events, festivals, shows,[/b] spas, etc. because she it’s as a waste of money
* doesn’t spend money on entertainment, events, gifts, Ubers, clothes, etc.
* hates paying for convenience (delivery fees, checked bags, valet, subscriptions, etc.)
* travels a few times a year but always very cheaply (budget airlines/basic hotels/red-eyes/points deals)
* researches everything and buys the cheapest/highest-quality version of literally everything from toothpaste to furniture
* can’t fathom spending $200 on a dress or $2000 on coat

Would men see this as financially responsible and disciplined, or as overly cheap/miserly? Especially in dating, does this kind of mindset help or hurt?[/quote]

I'm like this, except for the bolded. I think they are green flags, but since no one ever asks me on a date, maybe they are red.

The thing is you can't change who you are. My parents were like this, too. And my parents are not struggling in retirement unlike a couple of their friends who are supporting their middle-aged children because they did not pass down frugality as a value.

To the person who said it was the sign of a low-maintenance woman, I totally agree. I am low maintenance. [b]But I'm beginning to see that most men really don't want a low-maintenance woman, regardless of what they say[/b].[/quote]

This is accurate.

Most men think they want a low maintenance woman and would love this woman at first, because they see stereotypically “feminine” purchases as frivolous and a waste of money. However, they also expect women to magically look like 10s, which of course is impossible.

They are also going to want her to help pay for all the events, concerts, restaurants, and trips they go to together. So she’ll be basically financing someone else’s life, since she doesn’t want to go these things.

Her dating pool is going to be pretty limited, but if she’s happy with the way she is, that’s okay. [/quote]

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