Reply to support for ADHD teen with low motivation

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "support for ADHD teen with low motivation"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The only way to get him to get internal motivation is to back off and let him handle it himself. Stop “scaffolding” unless it is something with disproportionate importance (like the SAT or high school application or something). My kid manages As and Bs and some Cs with very little interference from me. While I know he is capable of As, he is slowly progressing in his ability to manage his work on his own on a day to day basis. I’m sure if I “scaffolded” him more I could have gotten him up to all As with maybe a B or two, but then he would not have had the chance to figure it out himself [/quote]
Except, ADHDers do not have internal motivation for anything other than their super special interests. [/quote]

You’re confusing ADHD with autism.

Kids with ADHD absolutely have motivation but they’ll never access it if you never let them grow up and insist on seeing them as crippled. More likely people see normal variations of maturation as ADHD. [/quote]

NP. You are incorrect. Many if not most ADHD kids struggle to find motivation for non-preferred tasks. They can hyperfocus on things they like, but they have difficulty motivating themselves to get started on non-preferred tasks and have difficulty sustaining the effort to complete those tasks even once started. [/quote]

Well OP’s kid gets As and Bs so the difficulty is likely not crippling. One key insight of the Self Driven Child is that you have to have some trust that your kid will rise to the occasion- and that the alternative (intensive parental support and direction) will not pay off in the long run because eventually the kid has to be on their own. [/quote]

You're completely missing the point: ADHD is an executive functioning deficit disorder. Simply trusting that your kid will at some point "rise to the occasion" demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of what ADHD actually is and how to support it. Self-motivation requires the ability to see into the future and adapt your behavior now in order to achieve a goal down the road. It requires delayed gratification and the ability to tune out distractions and impulses that pull your attention away from the task at hand and the ultimate goal. This requires executive functioning skills. The average kid with ADHD has an executive functioning system that is 30% behind their same-age peers. It's not a matter of them being lazy. Their brains do not function in that way yet. That's why supports are needed. Ideally, the supports help the kids develop executive functioning skills so that they get to a place where they are not dependent on external supports/motivation. But sitting back and trusting the child to figure it out on their own is 100% the wrong way to approach it. [/quote]

Kids with ADHD don’t have NO executive functioning - it is delayed or  relatively lower than peers. To get those skills they do need to be self-motivated and self aware. While they may need more help in some areas you should always be slowing down your impulse to jump in. Also the vast majority of kids on DCUM who have “ADHD” have very mild cases and normal to high IQs. for them developing a sense of self and their own motivation is more important than straight As. Nobody says let your kid flounder and get Fs but in the long run letting your kid self manage a little and get Bs may be the better tactic. [/quote]

I don't know why I'm bothering to respond since it's clear you don't know anything about ADHD. A 5-min google search would serve you well. But again, kids with ADHD are about 30% delayed in EF skills on average. That deficit is huge. That's a 10 year old having the EF of a 7 year old. Self-awareness and self-motivation ARE executive functioning skills. They aren't separate skills that help with EF. They are the very skills that kids with ADHD need to acquire, among others. So saying that kids with ADHD just need to be self-motivated and self-aware to develop EF makes no sense. One does not learn to become self-aware by...being self-aware. Your argument is circular and nonsensical.

I also find it telling that you seem to believe that the majority of kids with "ADHD" (and your use of quotes here is notable) is mild. It almost sounds like you don't believe ADHD is a real disorder that affects millions of children. That if these kids just tried harder, they would be fine. I suggest you educate yourself on what these kids and their families deal with on a daily basis and go touch grass. [/quote]

30% is not actually “huge.” [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics