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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have had multiple good friends from India tell me, in no uncertain terms, if you don’t have to go to India (like to visit family or for work) there is absolutely no reason to go to India. They dread going. [/quote]

Indians visiting family also often have to stay with family out of respect, which can be a somewhat chaotic experience in even the nicest of homes (just managing household staff can be a lot of coordination — insisting everyone eat at home, needing times for when the food will be ready, customizing for kids who are picky and don’t eat the customized foods anyway, needing to line up times for driver to be available, locking things away for when the cleaning women come through, etc).  Staying at hotels (which are truly wonderful on the high end) radically changes the experience. [/quote]

My workaround to this is to have an itinerary with flights, rail, car, guide, hotels booked for travelling within India, before I get there.  I like to stay with parents and sibling in India mainly because they have the staff and I am familiar with it all.   However, not when I have my DH or kids travelling with us.  Then it is a hotel.

But, then it is usually nowadays that we all are travelling together for a few days to a tourist destination, family wedding, ancestral village, ayurvedic resort, paying respect to older generation etc.  So, then the near and extended family gets to spend time with us and they don't feel bad that we did not stay with them and instead stayed at a hotel.

When kids were younger, we did a week in a resort with DH's family and another week in another resort with my family.  It was a family get-together and we paid for everyone so some of the guilt of going so far away also lessened.  My kids bonded well with all the relatives and cousins and they loved the 5-star hotels in India.  Only good memories.  
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