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Trying to Conceive (TTC)
Reply to "DH is making me feel bad because he says we're too old to TTC"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am 37 and there is no way I would want to start now. I am not too old physically -as in many woman do have children in their 30s. I wanted children earlier but it didn't happen and now it is too late for me. I get your husband. Has he explained what he means by too old? Maybe he just feels you are both too old to start now - not that you are old or can't get pregnant but just too old to start TTC. Past 35 is considered advanced maternal age. there are increased risks and chances of complications. That doesn't mean you can't still easily get pregnant or have children but there is more to consider. You were ambivalent for years, now he is. I don't get why your ambivalence is fine but his isn't. Some people have kids at 20 and 21, others feel that is too young for them. Some people have kids at 40, others feel that is too old for them. You have to have kids at an age and stage in life that works for both of you and it sounds like you delayed it past his comfort point. [/quote] OP here. Even though I am AMA now, I don't feel too old to start TTC. In fact, I always saw myself as an older mom--having my first in my late 30's or early 40's. I really admire older moms and would not have felt ready any younger. I only want one child, so that makes things a bit easier when starting so late. My perspective is that I needed my 20's and early 30's as a time to finish grad school, start a career, and have fun. I was able to get it "out of my system" so now I can focus on being a parent and not being wistful of more youthful times. I know I delayed starting to TTC past his comfort point, but I was so ambivalent before that I could not imagine being pregnant or starting a family. Now I can. My DH is not ambivalent--he very much wants to have a child, whether it's the natural way, or by adoption. He definitely wants to start a family, but he is upset that we waited so long because he saw himself as a younger dad and he wanted more than one child. [/quote]
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