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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP,

One day you'll realize that he can never give you what you want. He can never apologize enough, he cannot turn back time and confess, or turn back time and not have the affair. You may want to impose certain things upon him to compensate for the hurt, but remember it won't fill that void in you. So you might just as well not ask anything of him regarding explanations or apologies. Just stick to practical things. In the end, that's what's most important: money, including college expenses. You will need to find emotional healing elsewhere.

[/quote]

This is so incredibly true.  I hoped for something more than the throwaway "oops, sorry" apologies I received and it never came.  In reality, nothing can fix what he did.  In my case, he did confess.  He told me he was leaving me and listed off a million ways I had failed him as a wife.  He left that day.  It's been several years now and sometimes I still wake up and wonder WTF happened to my life.  Decades of marriage down the tubes, like so many other gray divorces.

Most of my white hot anger has abated.  What remains is a deep sadness that will probably never go away.  I remind myself every day that it is better to be alone than with someone who doesn't respect me.  I have my kids and I have friends and family, a job that is genuinely fulfilling, and the pride of knowing I got the emotional crap beaten out of me and I kept myself moving forward.

Peace and kindness to you, OP.  It's a miserable process, but you'll come through this stronger than you thought you could ever be.  [/quote]

They will have several reasons to justify the affair unfortunately! In my case he did not leave but I couldnt stay with the knowledge that the relation is full of lies and deception. I know I will regret not staying and giving more chances than I did but it feels so wrong..[/quote]

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