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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my experience female avoidants are friendly, flirty, curious about you, intelligent and social.  They also have shallow friendships, few long-term relationships (unless they are low maintenance), rarely overshare and tend to cheat or leave when things become moderately challenging.   I would not do it again.[/quote]

This was me to a T. I’ve had lots and lots of therapy and managed to turn my life around and start some really deep and intimate relationships. I don’t think I realized how lonely I was until I started opening myself up and how satisfying a relationship can be when you are vulnerable with each other. OTOH, I am a master at small talk, genuinely enjoy it and am the life of a party. It makes me great at my job, which entails building relationships. I think for me, if I was the way I was before and you wanted a relationship with me, calling out my avoidance would be a big factor. G’luck![/quote]

This is what I want to be and understanding myself more as I am getting older. I am 43F and only had two serious relationships in my life. First was with my ex-H who I married at the age of 15/16 for a lot of reasons. Had my first kid when I was 17 and divorced him at the age 40 and then found my ex-fiance and being with him for 2.5 years. He adored me, spent money, took me out on vacations but I got scared and crossed his boundaries a few times. I always used to threaten breaking up whenever we are in a small or big argument and that started the downfall of my relationship. I am still learning how to be in healthy relationships and not take relationships for granted. It requires a lot of patience and efforts to make relationships work. [/quote]

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