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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks all. I appreciate the compassion and helpful pointers. Over the past 2 years I’ve tried multiple mediations and hormones and I’m still really struggling. It doesn’t help that DH has no curiosity about what I’m going through. I have turned myself inside out to be cheerful for him when he comes home and for the kids. I am so overwhelmed trying to navigate the system for getting help that it feels really bleak. I feel so incredibly hopeless on bad days. I’ve been depressed before so I know what it feels like, but being married and responsible for kids and being so alone makes everything so much worse. I want to crawl into a hole. I know it sounds insane but I’m not functioning well enough to make appointments. I’ve tried multiple times over the past 3 months and each time I am met with barriers and I end up breaking down. I just want to disappear. [/quote]

Call someone you know, anyone (friend, relative, neighbor, your own husband), and say "I can't do this anymore. I need help. Please come and help me out of my funk." They can arrive at your home, go into your computer, you will tell them your login, and make a PCP and a psychiatrist's appointment for you.  You need both, because some physical diseases mimic mental health disorders. For all you know, you could be developing a thyroid storm, which comes with a feeling of impending doom. You need extensive bloodwork ordered by your PCP. You also need to get in with a psychiatrist. And then you need a therapist to talk to regularly.

The first order of business is to clear you of any urgent medical problem. I went into thyroid storm in my 30s and ended up in the ER and then the ICU. I felt awful - depressed and panicked at the same time. My resting heart rate was at 120bpm and I couldn't sleep all. Worst period of my life. And all that, of course, when my marriage wasn't doing well and my husband wasn't looking after me as much as he should. He turned it around when he realized he had to call 911.

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