Reply to What obligation, if any, do we have to older family members?

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Reply to "What obligation, if any, do we have to older family members?"

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[quote=Anonymous]The debate over whether current help should be conditioned on previous help is moot in a long-distance relationship.

There is very little you can do, unless the elderly person is willing to give you power of attorney, or access to bank accounts to help pay for bills and organize aides, or access to medical portals to help make appointments and follow-ups. You need to be very close for that to happen, and that's not usually the case in a aunt or uncle situation. My own parents have not given me such access, even though I'm willing to do it, and I believe that I have a filial duty of care that is independent from any help they have given me.

So... you're sort of asking the wrong question here, OP. Or maybe you didn't word it well enough. Maybe your relatives just want to be wired money? Don't do that, at their age they're vulnerable to every scam in the book. Paying actual bills is the way to go if you are ready to help them financially. Maybe they need help navigating their taxes, or hiring household help? Do what you can.

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