Reply to Twins. Does anyone have a set where life just comes easier to one than to the other?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've noticed this with the "older" twin or Twin A. [/quote]

I am an identical twin.  My late twin brother found things "easier" - the older twin.  He ranked third nationally in high school track and field. I was sixth.  He was a straight A student; I had a few B's. He was an NCAA D1 All American; I was merely a finalist.  He was Phi Beta Kappa in math (4.0), I was merely a magna cum laude honors graduate (albeit at a more competitive school). Oddly, I did better on standardized tests.  I was a better rule follower. We both did very well in top flight graduate schools, about as well as possible. We were entirely on our since 18, incurred no student loan debt and shared an interest in wisely managing money. I do very well in my career but he earned generational wealth.

In my home (parents were not educated) I was the far lesser twin, beaten for being fat dumb and lazy and constantly called the same. It was a blessing my father abandoned us at 15, although money was tight and my mother in response developed a drug and alcohol addiction.  In a sense my brother and I raised each other. It hurt to be treated badly as the lesser twin (I spent my youth with my head staring at the floor) but I was bright enough to see my father's intense hatred for me was driven by his insecurity and by my far more laid back personality, similar to my mother and her father (a pro football player and a humble nice guy). I am grateful for that personality as it has kept me healthy. I stayed close to my mother through her struggles because she needed love and support, as inadequate as it was in my 20's. My brother did not as he feared that she would drag him down - a legitimate fear as I struggled with it too. We did what we were capable of doing.

Through dumb luck I always had a voice in my head that I was pretty good at what I did and I was just fine walking my own path.  My wife comments that never once did I show any resentment or jealousy of any kind towards my brother - not once.  I was proud of him, even though he could be a very difficult guy.  I often helped set his boundaries because he was not inclined to set them all that well himself.  What a wonderful purpose for me in life.

I may not have achieved much in this world, but my best accomplishment was supporting my brother, without resentment, without jealousy and with a deep sense of confidence in our instinct to look out for each other.  I am not religious, but something was right with the world making me a twin. It has been the best purpose ever. [/quote]

This is beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss! You were a great brother to him![/quote]

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