Reply to I thought I'd made a new friend, but I guess I did not. Middle-age is rough.

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Reply to "I thought I'd made a new friend, but I guess I did not. Middle-age is rough."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Over the past couple of years, I've become friendly, or I thought friends, with a woman in my town. Our kids play on a sports team together and we have many mutual friends, and we also serve on a board together so we see each other routinely. We message regularly and have disclosed some important health stuff as well (we both have IBS and have swapped ways to struggle through it during flares). We hang out in large groups as well as a few smaller dinners. I thought we'd moved from "acquaintance" to "friend" territory.

Apparently, another friend threw her a surprise birthday bash this weekend -- photos showed up on my feed, and even my husband knew about it (he is friends with the woman's spouse). I wasn't invited. It stung. I think the host had control of the guest list (since it was a surprise, I'm confident my new pal didn't dictate the list), but I have to admit -- seeing a bunch of people I'm friends with at a party stung, as though I was back in middle school.
I will say, I don't know the host at all, but I am in the orbit of many of the guests, and I would have loved to celebrate my friend. 
Or maybe we're not friends? I ran into her at the gym this morning and asked her how the party was, and she said, "I was so shocked!" It was pleasant, but clearly I wasn't...missed.

I hate the ambiguity of middle age "are we or are we not" friends. That's all. It can deflate even those of us who think we're "above". it all.

[/quote]

Since you asked her about the party, how do you know your friend didn’t think you simply couldn’t attend? She has no way to know you weren’t invited. [/quote]

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