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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That would hurt me too,[b] but I would never attack my friends parenting over it. [/b]I don't think you should take any blame or apologize in any way. You're a good friend for knowing she's in a bad place and looking past this. I would try to continue the friendship after some space, or maybe she just can't handle the freindship right now. It's not ur fault, she's dealing with a lot, that doesn't make it right or acceptable but it's great that you understand and look past it. [/quote]

Until you have walked a mile in that woman's shoes and spent years, money and tears trying to have a baby, you have no idea what you would or wouldn't do. [/quote]

What an odd response.  Why would you think the person you quoted hasn't spent years, money and tears trying to have a baby?  This is an infertility board after all.[/quote]

Exactly....I have been ttc for five years, have had several IUIs, ivfs and surgeries...so I do know what I would do, and I stated it above[/quote]

Have to agree...I went through 5 years of infertility, 2 IUIs, 3 IVFs, 3 miscarriages- one a traumatic T18 diagnosis and termination.

Because we were not telling people about our treatment...the only one who felt my wrath was my poor husband.

I weathered countless bridal showers when I was single and had no potential 'husband' in sight.  
I weathered countless pregnancy announcements, baby showers and birth announcements when I was struggling with infertility for five years.

I sucked it up...participated joyfully...and played with babies till my face turned blue.

You're a good friend, and what you're planning is kind and generous.  I just wish your friend could read some of the more 'plain talk' responses...because she needs a dose of reason from people who have been there done that...

(I also want to note...that I had two aunts that were painfully infertile (multiple tubal pregnancies, SIDS, etc.), at a time when there was no way to address infertility.  I have never met two women who so graciously over came those horrible situations, and embraced their nieces and nephews with such joy and tenderness of spirit...it was a gift of of theirs and a gift to their nieces and nephews.  I hope that while I struggled, that I carried on their spirits in my behavior.)[/quote]

I have to agree.  As someone who's been on the receiving end of friends like OP's for many years - lashing out because I am married and they are still single, lashing out b/c they had a miscarriage I didn't even know about and then were angry at me for telling them I was pregnant, etc - it is hurtful.  I recognize that they have their struggles and I want to be there for them.  But I should not have to deny or hide aspects of my life from a friend, nor should I be made to feel responsible for their feelings or their lot in life.  I have always tried to be supportive and considerate, but I've been cut one too many times now and my understanding is beginning to wear thin.  I am tired of being made to feel as if I should carry some guilt for things that are totally, 100% not my fault.  I agree that OP shouldn't make her friend feel terrible for what she did, but I don't see any reason why she can't tell the friend that her feelings were hurt.  IMO her friend owes her an apology. [/quote]

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