Reply to 3rd grade daughter dropped by former bestie

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[quote=Anonymous]My DD was on the other side of this in 6th. What happened was she had had an intense 1:1 friendship with a very sweet girl in her grade who was nearly a full year younger and kind of immature. I thought this kid was terrific though-- I'm not a fan of kids growing up too soon. I liked her parents too. But there was a built-in 11 month age gap and a maturity gap. And this kid was switching schools anyway so I encouraged my DD to diversify her friendships a bit. Over the summer my DD had sort of a maturity growth spurt and the age/maturity gap suddenly seemed like a big deal, plus some changes of interests and activities meant less time together. The kid ended up not switching schools, but my DD didn't want to resume the 1:1 BFF thing, she wanted to have this kid as one of her friends and have a friend group at lunch and recess rather than 1:1. But this kid was just not willing to accept that, so they stopped being friends. I felt really bad about this and I'm sure it was hard. I'm sure my DD didn't handle it great and neither did the other kid. But sometimes there's little a parent can do. I tried to help my DD be kind, but ultimately being 1:1 besties was not in the cards anymore.

Remember they're all kids and they all have underdeveloped social skills. As adults we are able to understand and accept that someone doesn't want to be our BFF at all times, and that friendships have an ebb and flow and it can be hard but it happens. But with kids, trouble arises when a change in friend tier happens and the kids aren't willing to accept it so they keep pushing. Because then the other kid keeps drawing the boundary and holding them at arm's length. It sounds like that's what's happening here. [/quote]

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