Reply to Can’t get husband to help with Easter.

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Can’t get husband to help with Easter."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the real problem here is that he is getting in the way.

My husband doesn't help much with Easter (or any holiday) but he doesn't get in the way and he doesn't criticize. He will do anything food-related that I ask him to do (like cooking or going to pick up food) but doesn't participate in decorating or kid traditions at all. I don't know why, maybe he thinks these are feminine activities or he just doesn't care. He's not really expressive about why this stuff doesn't seem to matter to him.

The one nice thing about this is that it means I just do what I want. I enjoy putting together easter baskets so I always do that. I hate dyeing eggs so after a few years of it when kids were young, we stopped and the kids don't seem to care. I do a small easter egg hunt. I don't really decorate (I like Christmas decor but not really other holidays). I usually plan an event in the afternoon with at least one other family but we keep it low key. I will discuss with DH in advance what our food situation will be, and generally he will do most of the cooking. This year I didn't feel we had time for a big meal before our meat up with friends, so I ordered a bagel spread in advance and DH went and picked it up. Easy.

Now the kids are reading books and playing with toys from their baskets, DH is preparing the potluck item we agreed to for our friend gathering, and I'm relaxing. I did a workout this morning and was the first one in the shower.

At some point you have to accept your spouse for what he is (or divorce). You can get rid of resentment by not doing stuff YOU don't want to do, just like he doesn't do things he doesn't want to do. There are ways to make holidays special for kids without doing all the things.

I do recommend getting off social media because that's where the families that do all the things hang out and they photograph and talk about all the things and that's the sort of stuff that will make you feel like you aren't doing enough. Ignore that noise and focus on just your family. What do you guys need? What really matters to you? Just do that.[/quote]

What are you talking about? Your husband doesn’t get in the way because he won’t even pretend to do the same activities OP is asking about - you know the feminine ones.[/quote]

OP's husband is only barely pretending to participate and that's the problem. He doesn't want to help with easter baskets or candy. So she shouldn't even bother trying to get him to and should only do the stuff she wants to do.

Give him tasks to do that won't trigger this hostility about over whether or not the easter activities OP chooses to do are worthwhile. Like have him pick up bagels, make pancakes, help clean the house, etc. Some men, for whatever reason, get very annoyed at being asked to help with stuff like easter baskets. Who knows why. But don't force it, and then they won't complain and get in the way.

Asking him to help make breakfast or clean the house is safe because what is he going to do, complain that there's no point in eating breakfast? Straightening the living room for a family holiday is insufficiently meaningful? It's easy to crap all over easter baskets as dumb, but everyone has to eat and do regular home maintenance. So make him do that.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics