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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op - she would never move into senior community. Is complete introvert. Best I could probably do is arrange for live in carer to be her friend [/quote]

I wouldn't give her a choice.  You say, this is the thing I'm willing to help you with (ie find and move into a senior living community).  If she doesn't went to, she can arrange her own help at home, or she will go when there's an emergency and she won't have a say in the matter.  I doubt you have time to manage at-home care (it's not like a one-and-done thing) so you should only offer what you have the the capacity (and desire) to deal with.  This isn't a knock on you, btw- this is exactly what I plan to do with my own difficult parent eventually.[/quote]

this is what we did with inlaws. said you can do x and we will be in a position to help with that. or if you do y (stay in home out of state) we will not be in a position to come to medical appoinbtments, be with you in hospital, drive you, find care, etc. They chose to stay in home out of state. They are figuring it out. It's hard to watch at times but we remind ourselves they did make their choice and they are adults. [/quote]

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