Reply to Facing Feelings of Envy Towards Lucky Sibling

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lets just say I have a younger sister whose life is a phantom of the life I had wanted and worked very hard for but that it blew up in my face disastrously over the past 5 years. We both grew up in financial strife and were both parentified and spent a lot of our younger life spending a lot of time and emotional labor on our family of origin. We also spent a lot of money we did not have on our other siblings.

She met and married a wonderful guy who in addition to being madly in love with her is set to inherit multimillions from his wealthy family. Her in laws are rich but also kind and generous. They truly love her and bring love and stability into her life that we did not really have growing up. She already has one beautiful child and is pregnant with her second; pregnant at first try with easiest pregnancies ever. They are now looking to buy million dollar house for their growing family.  Every special occasion her in laws and husband shower her with so many presents, in addition to multiple trips a year.

Her life is a stark contrast to mine. I do fine for myself. I live in a safe clean apartment. I have a job making 150k. I was married but unlike her I almost died trying to get pregnant and my husband was an alcoholic who serially cheated on me and his family emotionally abused me.  I am a shell of a person.

Its really really hard not to be triggered by my sister and her good luck and her perfect life. I am green with envy and it is increasingly hard to be around her. I feel like a total loser and less than. Like somehow she must be more deserving or a better person than I that she gets to live the 1% version of the American dream. [/quote]

You are only human, feeling envy doesn't mean you aren't happy and relieved that she is doing better and you don't have another reason to worry or another burden to carry. Don't be so tough on yourself.[/quote]

Op here. Of course. I love my sister and I’m happy for her and I love my niece and my brother in law. I’m lucky to have them in my life! And this so nice to see my sibling do really well and break the generational trauma of poverty.

It’s also really hard to see her literally live the life I wanted, too!!! I deserved a happy ending too! I made good choices, I worked on my trauma, I worked really hard! [/quote]

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