Reply to High earning women: what would you look for in a partner?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have an equally educated partner. Now? A gorgeous well dressed and mannered boy toy 10 to 15 years younger[/quote]

Ha, now that I’m older, it’s this.

But assuming I’m young like the OP asked: I would ideally want a man with a high earning potential, but that will drastically limit your choices. Men with money typically aren’t the greatest husbands.

I would rather have a good guy than a rich guy, BUT I would:

1. Not let him know about the money until after engagement but before marriage. That amount of money will change how someone sees you. You want to filter out for gold diggers, but also give enough time before marriage to see if he starts trying to spend that money.

2. Prenup and that money is yours. Not to be spent on frivolous things like vacations or toys. Use it to build generational wealth for your kids.

3. Go for a solid career because you never know what will happen BUT save that money in case you want to be a SAHM later on.

4. Probably the biggest one: get premarital counseling specifically around money and finances. Finances are the #1 cause of divorce, and you want to make sure you are both on the same page about money. And if you can’t get on the same page, don’t be afraid to break it off. [/quote]

Curious why you said men with money typically aren’t the greatest husbands. Can you elaborate? [/quote]

I've known a lot of wealthy men and I wouldn't want to be married to most of them. Typically controlling, yell a lot, cheat, see women as conquests, etc. Once a multi-millionaire asked me on a date; when I showed up at his house, he was doing coke with a stripper. Ended up hanging out with the stripper and she said he screams at her all the time.

I know someone will say "not all men!" but in my experience of spending time with millionaires and billionaires, they just don't make good husbands. Just look at the richest men in the world - nearly all of them have multiple divorces, cheating, abuse allegations, etc.[/quote]

There's a big difference between a millionaire (most people on this site over 40) and a billionaire. [/quote]

Yes, but if that millionaire's wife is a SAHM, in many cases he might as well be a billionaire because she's stuck. It's not the amount of money he has, it's the power differential it creates when one person has none.

I'm not the type of high net worth that OP described, but I'm a never married single physician/mom with some family money. For me, I was able to make unconventional choices without fear of judgement or financial insecurity. I had a child on my own and decided not to get married. I invested in real estate and the market and built a deeply rooted community around my job, DD's school, and our neighborhood. DD and I have a wide network of support; some of my married girlfriends express loneliness and I think it's because it's assumed they're "fine" in their marriage, which is sometimes not true.

Overall, having wealth always gives you choices. Re: a partner, it allows women to choose based on compatibility, shared goals, and personal preferences, rather than finances, mere survival, or a ticket out of a bad home situation.[/quote]

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