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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No matter who "she" is, my DS's father always chooses her over him. It's been a pattern since the day he was born. Now that DS is older, it's much more apparent to both DS and I, but I can't get DS to set higher standards for himself. Example- DS has only been on 1 vacation with dad over 15 years. DS has now vacationed twice with new girlfriend in the past 6 months. The first vacation came at the expense of participating in a doctors appointment and Winter break/Christmas, the 2nd vacation came at the expense of easter and supporting DS during AP/SAT prep. DS acknowledged this, but mostly brushed it off. He compartmentalizes a lot. Speaking of, DS has a habit of not putting himself first, speaking up, being the squeaky wheel, setting standards for himself. It's affecting his confidence big time. It kills me to watch this happen in slow motion. We've all read the book and seen the movie ya know? [/quote]

Same. It's never going to change, so accept it and make the best of it.  When my ex moved thousands of miles away, my dad stepped up big time with phone calls, texts, and flying in for sports stuff.  My brother and BIL have also stepped up in small ways, like including DS on a camping trip. Some of his sports coaches and team dads also stepped up.  We basically avoid talking about and drawing attention to his dad's absence, and try to show DS as much love as we can.  [/quote]

Not about your ex.  And, it sounds like you replaced dad and probably did not allow dad to be involved.  [/quote]

LMAO.  No, he had 50% custody when he decided to follow his latest GF, now wife, across the world and bail on our kid.  But it's not about him. It's my fault, right?  I'm the problem. [/quote]

He’s entitled to move.  Your son can fly out to visit.  Why don’t you let him?   The vacation is fine.  You sound like you don’t support contact.  [/quote]

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