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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I got a good job there and they would obviously go to an international school so I don't quite see the problem. She will make new friends and after she graduates she can do whatever she wants and live wherever she wants. My husband and I are so done with her attitude because she's insulting us and yelling at us and sleeping over at friends houses on school nights without even asking us. We just don't engage with her anymore.

This won't traumatize her right? I mean people move all the time and adjust.
Just don't know how we will get her on a plane...[/quote]
I know it's what you don't want to hear, but it might. This is a sensitive time for kids. I know of several for whom this kind of move was devastating and life changing. I also know of kids who did this and were fine, but their initial reactions were not like those you are describing. If this was a possibility, you should have been working towards setting expectations and building skills and connections for years beforehand. Springing this on her now was poor planning. [/quote]

Yeah I understand but it's too late now. What do we do? We are at our wits end with her. [/quote]

I would try family therapy with a really good adolescent therapist who can help you all acknowledge that this is going to be incredibly difficult, but still work towards coming up with strategies.

I would make the effort to see if there is a friend or family member who could keep her at her school for three years. Even if it is impossible, you should honestly tell her it is very, very unlikely and then show her you are just double checking whether there is a way to make it work. Show her you are working to make things easier for her. You are on her side… as much as possible.

I am someone who is incredibly rooted. Multi generational DC native family. I’ve known people who have made these kinds of changes and I don’t really understand how they can be so flexible. It seems like such a strength, but not everyone adapts well to big changes.[/quote]

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