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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I thought the manosphere was basically just getting women by acting like a controlling ahole. Lots of men manage it without needing a manual. [/quote]

I don't know what it is anymore. But I was briefly pulled in that direction probably 10 years ago. At that time, it was a stew of pick up artists, men's rights activists, incels, and probably others. The common thread seemed to be a focus on the man's side of a male-female relationships. It was toxic even then, but I'm not sure the mask had quite come off. The ever increasing misogyny wasn't a surprise. But, for me, the frank racism was unexpected.

In my case, the bait was a guy who wrote about improving your sex life in marriage and a forum that sprung up around his writing. Nothing I'd seen in more mainstream areas seemed to be helping much - communication, chores, give her more free time, date nights, etc. First of all, his writing acknowledged that this common advice often didn't do much to improve a married couple's sex life. Next, he emphasized things that were beneficial to me regardless of whether my wife responded (e.g. workout & dress better). And the community in the forum was welcoming. Men and some women who were talking about similar problems. I could talk about my own without feeling like I was weird or a bad person. So, I get the appeal.

But, then there was stuff that was borderline toxic and counterproductive - having to do with being more "dominant" because that's what women really want. Don't ask for sex. Women don't want supplicants - that's a turn off. Lead her into sex. (The lines between "leading" and "coercing" seemed a little fuzzy.) And then there were the connections to other personalities in that ecosystem who were a lot sketchier. The "push through her 'no'" pick up artist types.

I got healthier, stronger, and dressed better. I briefly enjoyed the community. But the ick factor overwhelmed any benefits I was getting, and I bailed. My sex life never did get much better. But the marriage is still strong. (Which, had I embraced the redpill, I predict would not be the case.) [/quote]

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