Reply to How to Deal with an Angry Sibling re: Elderly Parents

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "How to Deal with an Angry Sibling re: Elderly Parents"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Op here

Ok so I'm hearing that me asking when would be a good time to come is too much of a burden. I should just show up whenever then? And for how long should I stay? I need to be able to make arrangements with my company and family, which I don't think is unreasonable.

It's too much trouble for him to discuss this with me. And when I say I have to go home bc I have a work trip or my husband has a work trip so someone needs to be there with the kids, then what?

I don't have the money for an indefinite hotel stay there or a flight. I have to drive. My family can only afford one drivable vacation a year, so we're not "living it up" down here while they are suffering. They vacation 3-4 times per year, that's their business and they are entitled to do so.

My parents will not be back to their apartment any time soon. They have just gotten or are going to a rehab facility. When they do go home they will again have a live-in aide as they did before. They have a cleaning service for their apartment. Their meals are provided by the facility they live in. I don't have access to their banking or accounts to pay bills only my brother does.

I'm not trying to make excuses I'm honestly trying to process this and understand what needs to be done so I can make a plan.

Yes I know PPs think I'm horrible. I've dealt with a lot of crazy, disfunctional shit from my family which is left there 30 years ago. It's incredibly anxiety provoking to have to go there and the idea of going there alone for an extended period of time is actually scary to me. I know you won't understand that.

I don't have a much relationship with my abusive mom. I haven't had a relationship with my brother bc he's always been an unhappy, angry person (way before this) and he's always trying to start political fights I won't engage in. I've spent years trying to put some healthier boundaries up so I can maintain some level.of relationship with my family. I've had years of therapy to navigate my very disfunctional relationship with them.

So I'm trying to process how I manage this. Over what period of time. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics