Reply to How to Deal with an Angry Sibling re: Elderly Parents

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[quote=Anonymous]OP said "I'm happy with coordinating and helping if we can talk like adults and make a respectful plan in advance."

The guy is exhausted. He doesn't need planners. He needs someone to help with the physical labor.

Fly out (by yourself) for a week. Clean the apartment. Buy the groceries. Cook the meals. Replace parents clothing. Pick up meds, Drive to doctor appointments. Talk with PT etc.Pick up depends, replace the sheets that have holes in them from bleach, do the laundry, service the car, gas up the car, haul stuff to goodwill, and pay the bills. Buy a lazyboy. Buy chux.  Buy more depends. Get hair cuts. Pedicures.

On the plus side your parents are in an apartment so he does not have yard care or roof care.

Please give your brother a break and start picking up the load.

One month notice is plenty of time to ask for assistance.

I also gave my sister updates over a 6 year period. It was exhausting and just one more thing on top of the daily heavy work. If I had to do it over again, I would have given a lot less updates. She did not visit once in 6 years.[/quote]

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