Reply to How to reach out to my son

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you said you were worried about him becoming a drunk and that you have a family history of it. A family history is a genuine reason for concern. I don't know if your son is an alcoholic or not and you don't have to decide that right now but you might find it useful to check out Al-Anon because it sounds like your relationship with your son is similar to a relationship with an alcoholic. I completely understand why you and your husband are afraid to set limits with your son. You're afraid you will lose him! But it sounds like what you've been doing hasn't worked for you so far and it makes sense to talk to people, whether in a 12-step group or with an experienced therapist who have experience with this kind of family dynamic.

Ultimately, whether addiction or college is the issue, your son has to be the one to decide what to to. That's hard to accept as a parent. I have a kid who is in recovery now and I'm very aware of how little control I have over her. All you can do is stop enabling him and hope he will make the right decisions. The best thing you can do is get someone to help walk you through it. Good luck, OP![/quote]

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