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[quote=Anonymous]This is what I did OP:

1.) Start gently and assume they are rational. Do all the nice things to tip toe around their fragile egos for a year or 2. When that doesn't work...

2) Consult with aging care advisor and financial advisor. Try to get your parent to agree to speak to them as long as you are on the same page with the advisors. When that doesn't work...

3.) Deal with endless emergencies and drama poorly timed to clash with every stressor in your life. Have this go on for years until you find yourself wishing to somehow fly away from life/run away from it all. Realize you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown between kid stressors, work, spouse illness and your bat sh&t crazy and entitled parents and get therapy. At some point during this one parent dies and all hell breaks loose now with entitled siblings too.

4.) After a period of mourning, set some rock solid boundaries with the remaining parent-gently, but firmly. Make clear what you are asking them to do, what choices they have and what you can no longer do. If that parent tends to be difficult expect rage, tantrums and insults.

5.) Keep your boundaries.Lead your life. Stop saving up those vacation days for emergencies. I did that. I gave up vacations and all the things for their emergencies and the family I created was suffering and I had a death wish. Enjoy your vacations. Lead your life. It took me many years of this mess to the point my living parent was in better health than I was. to finally decide I would no longer set myself on fire to keep this parent warm.[/quote]

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