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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, for what it's worth, my once distant and grumpy boy - now age 22 and home for spring break - gave me a long hug last night.  Your DS will likely come back to you, but you have to give him space to grow up.[/quote]

This.  ADHD DS treated me like shyte for the last two years of high school. I was consistently polite with him and tried to stay emotionally regulated.  Sometimes I drew boundaries like, "hey, I know you're angry, but it's not OK to do X because Y and I give you the courtesy of not doing X to you. I may be your mom and forgive you a lot of things because you are still learning, but no human deserves that kind of treatment. You can do A, B, C if you're made but not X, and if you need help restraining yourself from X, then let's talk about how together or with the therapist."  OFC, you can't say all that at once because when they're overwhelmed by emotion, they can only hear short, simply statements.

FWIW, I don't think my DS said I love you or hugged me or allowed me to touch him for 2 years. During that time, I was heartbroken, but respected his physical boundaries, stayed emotionally regulated, and communicated that I loved him verbally and in other ways.  I nearly cried when he finally said I love you back and gave me hugs again. We have a strong relationship.

I think his behavior was less about me and more about a normal developmental need to separate, coupled with raging hormones that sometimes meant he didn't understand how his behavior as a newly 6'3" 190 lb. guy was scarier than the boy he felt he was, and the intense pressure of HS socially and academically, which is oddly diminished in college. [/quote]

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