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[quote=Anonymous]Hi all and thanks for your posts. I read through everything. This place helps to get through some pretty tough times. I’ll answer some of the points above.

Exec Coach- We tried it, it did not work. DS says yes to the professional and expensive coach, then goes off with no change in behavior or buy in. I also recently (this school year) recruited our neighbor who is a young teacher, on extended maternity break. She would make a big list of things that need to be done in terms of follow ups with teachers and missing assignments, but then DS wouldn’t follow up when he’s at school…. We stopped during the holidays and then he never agreed to go back saying that it’s just a waste of money.

Homework: DS gets violently angry if I suggest that I sit next to him while he is doing his homework or if I’m just in the vicinity and I keep an eye on him. He starts yelling Go Away.
Yes, we talk almost every day when the money is right about composure, regulation, why school is important. It is now like my second job to keep reading up and watch content on how to parent a defiant teen with ADHD…

Tutor- DS rejects any tutor. “I don’t need a tutor. You will see. I will catch up on my own on missing assignments. And I will do a retake test. It doesn’t help and you will just waste the money.” - he says. We had online math tutor - DS told the tutor he had no questions and session kept being cut like that…

Doctor / neutral party talk. Our prescription is pretty minimal, and it is prescribed by a regular doctor. I was unable to get into psychiatrist - it is always either insurance problem or unavailability problem. So based on the diagnosis made by a psychologist, we got prescription from our family doctor. I think I was here before and folks recommended to have DS talk to the doctor directly. It was some months ago that DS talked to family doctor. He acted friendly and agreed to take medication but the moment we went to the car, he said he lied to the doctor. He he continued refusing medication. That doctor took time…. Explained everything; he said that his own children are taking it; explain that risks are minimal compared to benefits.

Lying: this behavior is constant. The latest lie is that DS skipped a class due to not being ready and then lied about it. This happened twice; same subject — history. And this is how I know that ability is not a problem… history requires reading and stamina to get through lengthy readings… and I clearly see that DS is unable to do that. On the other hand, DS is in honors geometry class. He’s able to handle it if he studies but this one is slipping too lately.

Latest issues: DS became violent breaking the property when I took away his phone and comp privilege… he broke the full body mirror in his room and into shreds. And pulled ceiling height bookcase off the anchoring, and onto the floor… in other words, his room was trashed. I read up and this is elimination strategy. When teens know that the punishment is real, they act out in order to eliminate the threat in this way… this was a few weeks ago and we started individual therapy with a new provider. She seems very young and not sure she can handle it. You folks know that it is not easy to find a therapist that is a good match. Online therapy is fam therapy and DS wants to stop it - he says it is not helpful.

I am probably forgetting something….
I think my immediate plan is to have a family doctor talk to him again. I already have an appointment and also even though it is a long time just to get a psychiatrist appointment.

I am so worn out that I think of going on FMLA…[/quote]

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