Reply to How to handle separation from a man I’m attached to?

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Reply to "How to handle separation from a man I’m attached to?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Oh boy, crying during a few days of separation isn’t healthy, obviously and it’s important you dig deep into the root cause, because it’s obviously more about you (and likely something historic, from childhood) than it is about your boyfriend.

You must not make any of these feelings your boyfriend’s responsibility, btw - telling him you don’t handle separation well in an effort to spend more time together isn’t fair to him. Your “anxious attachment” is YOUR responsibility to manage. It’s obvious you should be in therapy - otherwise you’ll never know if your feelings are rooted in reality or insecurity, and you and your boyfriend will both be miserable. You’ll also burn the relationship to the ground. It’s not fair to him, and it’s especially not fair to yourself.

Heck, if this anxiety was powerful enough to lead you into a loveless marriage then you need to address it before entering a serious relationship - or at least do some work on yourself. It’s very all-or-nothing, and that’s no way to live. Get some help and start focusing on yourself - look inward instead of toward your boyfriend.[/quote]

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