Reply to How to handle separation from a man I’m attached to?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m separated from DH of 20+ years and 2 months ago started dating a man. I’m surprised that my nervous system or attachment system react to a boyfriend in exactly the same way as when I was a teenager or in my early 20s. When I start seeing someone I really like, I attach to him so quickly and want to be with him all the time. If I don’t see him for two days, I feel that he doesn’t want me as much as I want him, and I start to shut down emotionally and start looking around for a better fit or for someone who wants me more.

With my current boyfriend, we spent a half of last Saturday together, then I came back on Sunday afternoon and stayed until Monday evening (we both work from home). Then he invited me to come on Thursday evening and work together on Friday again but in the afternoon said that he’s not feeling well and “maybe let’s get together tomorrow”. In the meantime, another man is pursuing me and texted me today. My mind attempts to shut down all the feelings for my boyfriend because I’m hurt that he canceled our plans and I feel like he doesn’t want me that much and that maybe I should go out with another man who wants me more.

When we are together, everything is great, but I just can’t handle the separation. It’s very painful for the first two days and on day 3 I have a strong desire to meet with someone else who presumably wants me more than my boyfriend, and on day 4 I normally meet with my boyfriend, we spend a couple of very happy days together, and then the cycle repeats.

What’s going on with me and what is a normal space between the dates with a boyfriend of 2 months? We live 25 minutes away from each other. [/quote]

Are you shaboinking any of these men?[/quote]
I’m exclusive with my boyfriend, and it’s really good and multiple times a day when we are together.[/quote]

You and I have different definitions of exclusive.[/quote]

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