Reply to Five Daughters in Their 20s Who Can’t Stop Fighting and Being Jealous

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]We also have no idea how to make things feel fair when it comes to gifts, birthdays, holidays, or anything else[/quote]

Money. You give them money and equal amounts. For "help" with apartments, college living expenses -- you should have/and should now to keeping track. Have a ledger. Adjust for inflation. Maybe have a Family Meeting, once in awhile, to explain the family budget. Budget now for weddings. I would give-up on sentimental niceties re: gifts. Sentimental gestures can also cause jealousy. It's too bad this is the way it is, but this is the way it is. I don't think you have the luxury of individual, sentimental gifts or gestures. Make everything "you give" be qualifiable and equal.

Then, do not put-up with ugly talk. They don't get to say jealous/mean/ugly things in your presence. What they talk about between themselves you can not control -- but they do not get to fill-you-in on this ugliness. "I don't want to hear it". Don't be willing to hear about it.[/quote]

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